Una Grande Problema

In the dead of night, I have become accustomed to terror. When I tell tales of my stealthy torturer, the locals are always shocked to discover such a pest exists. italians know them as ZANZARE. scientists know them as CULICIDAE. and my kinfolk know them as…DUM DUM DUM Mosquitos. THE BUZZING MENACE Yes, these terrible buzzing bullies have been biting me whilst I sleep. As i dream of succulent mediterranean seafood and seaside retreats, they suck my blood, and i rise to the pangs of severe itching and wonder…where the hell are they coming from? But no seriously, where are they coming from!? According to all the hardened, wise, purveyors of the casalinghi stores in rome, mosquito season does not start until may. When i ask for the ‘macchinetta per zanzare’, they just look at me, give a hearty chuckle, and tell me that mosquito season doesn’t start for a while, of course they don’t have they machine stocked.

I swear. they exist. i have the bites to prove it.

Other rare things that do not exist in italy that i have yearned for:

  • Oatmeal (the ‘mouthfeel’ is apparently disgusting to italians…and some americans…but i like it…)
  • peanut butter (more texture problems…)
  • anything you would find in a vegan/natural foods store (i.e. sciroppo d’agave)
  • tylenol
  • cocktail shakers
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